jasonbutler42

My sister is staying with me again. Two years ago when she left after staying with us for two years I experienced the happiest day of my life. I’m talking Publisher’s Clearing House excited. I didn’t know people could actually scream and yell with joy and relief, but I assure you it happens.

Now she’s back. She’s changed quite a bit in two years, but there’s still a spirit of discord that she brings with her. Normally small things are amplified and communication is difficult despite our best efforts.

I feel like I’m in prison – I just want to do my time. There’s nothing that can be done at this point other than just letting the time pass. You want to ask me how I’m doing? Sure, fine. Can you help me get out of this situation? No? Sorry, I’m just going to wait until this is over.

I wish I had some better tools to work with but I really only know how to turtle and let the timer run out on this. What makes it worse is that Alice and I are under no compulsion to let me sister stay. no one has tried guilting us into keeping her, but since no one else has stepped up to the plate – now or in the past – we get her by default. If I was heartless and less of a man, I would turn her out into the street (that day may yet come) but for now I’m in a prison of my own device.

She has until March 1 to stay with us. If she doesn’t find something by then… *sigh* …I can’t be held responsible for letting her go.

Meanwhile, brewing is going strong. I need to take a weekend and visit Mike Sweeney of www.stlhops.com. He was gracious enough to let my adventurous brewing partner hangout during a weekend recently and I’m hoping I can do the same. Our Rocktoberfest didn’t turn out as we planned, but there is still great hope for the as yet unnamed Irish Stout – both of which have been bottled. The next batch will be kegged, I hope. So that’s another thing to add to my list from the previous post:

• Get a kegerator!

A few folks from work have convinced me to go to PAX 2008 this year. I ma continually fascinated by the Penny Arcade story – two guys who made a comic and got unbelievably famous. It reminds me of why I love the democratic nature of the Internet where, unlike the natural universe, the choicest gold nuggets actually float above the flotsam.

So I have a ton of stuff to do before PAX this year:

• Register for PAX (before March 31)
• Book a flight
• Book a hotel
• Buy a Nintendo DS (I hear there’s lots of waiting around and time to be killed)
• Set Alice up with a blog of her own
• Plan my other family oriented vacation (I’m thinking of renting a house on the beach for a week)

Much of these items require cold hard cash, and I hope my impending promotion brings with it some big bucks. Finding out that I’m at the bottom of my pay grade was more than a little disheartening. Also, not having traveled much at all in my 28 years, booking a flight and a hotel seems an arcane sport, like bow fishing or quiddich. The airlines freak me out, especially with all the changing regulations and maneuvers regarding electronics. I’m hoping my travel companions, who actually do have a great deal of travel experience, can help me out because this kind of stuff is so far out of my comfort zone it would, under normal circumstances, prevent me from embarking on a trip like this at all. But this is PAX. This is a chance to see some amazing stuff and coagulate with members of my species. If I’d given this thought I would probably have said no.

I forced Alice to read Gabe’s last post about his anxiety. It struck a cord with me and I knew it would resonate even stronger with Alice. Hopefully she can take solace in knowing that there are other people out there who get into cyclical worry cycles. For me, Gabe’s other post about not wanting to get lost and just wanting to stay home was more indicative of my personal neurosis, albeit farther from the bell curve than my own. As a result of Alice’s exposure to Gabe’s openness she stated, “Maybe I should have an online diary.” Yes. Yes, you should. So now it’s on my TODO list.